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thoughts & musings :: CCC

Friday, 3 December 1999

NASA mars probe 2

Incredible though it may seem, NASA recently decided that in order for the red planet to be safe enough to inhabit, it would need to be fortified with vitamins and iron. With this in mind, they shot another daft piece of iron at the planet. Obviously, whether it was technically a piece of iron is debatable, NASA seem to have enough money to routinely throw all sorts around in space without much of a care in the world (or any other world) and so it was probably a solid gold probe with diamond encrusted solar panels.

intent on proving that they could learn from their mistakes and learn how to repeat them even more spectacularly than before the cosmic comedians blasted another probe towards Martian central and prepared themselves to tune in to Probe FM.

After a sixth attempt to contact the probe, NASA decided that it was '...probably hiding behind mars and sniggering with the other metallic git in some kind of flamin' sardines game.'

Actually, that wasn't a NASA quote, I said that. But still, one of the ideas was to be that the earlier probe that was sent out was to act as a mediator between NASA and their latest deep space lemming should talks break down. Unfortunately, the earlier probe was unavailable for comment.

Also missing were the $30 Million Deep Space Two (A 'free the Deep Space Two' campaign is inevitable as soon as the tabloids get wind of it), which were designed to smash into the Martian soil and then perform some amazing scientific tasks. For all we know, they could be jumping through hoops and making soup from the red dust, they just aren't talking to anyone, except maybe each other, but isn't that twins for you.

Still, the idea of a spacecraft smashing into a planet and then performing delicate scientific tasks is obviously a stupid idea and not the sort of mistake that anyone would make twice.

Come to think of it, NASA may be adopting a long term strategy in order to save on rocket fuel. Within a few years the pile of crashed probes on mars will be so tall that it will reach the moon and so astronauts will be able to fly to the lunar surface and walk it from there.

Maybe NASA should drop the line from their recruitment ad that reads- 'Anyone welcome, come on, it's hardly rocket science.'
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